Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It really is a wonderful life.

Sometimes I go through this unfortunate writing season during which I believe that I can't write anything unless I have some sort of epic truth to communicate to the world. Understandably, I don't write during these times, as new epic truths are often difficult to come by. Usually, I free myself by forcing myself to sit down and write about something somewhat inconsequential, like what's going on in my life.

Today, I'll do just that. 

The last time I wrote about what was going on in my life was over two months ago, and I had just been laid off. I can only imagine that all of my readers are sick with curiosity as to how I've been spending my time, and how I will avoid living in a box.

I still have no jnb, though I have a had a few interviews that went very well. I've also been working on some entrepreneurial (spelled that without spell-check, by the way) projects, one of which has some promise.

To be honest, I have no idea what I'll be doing in six months. I could own my own business, be back in school, be working in another office, or be waiting tables. Likely, it will be more than one of those things, plus or minus some other unforeseen life-change. I've stopped trying to guess.

I was reflecting on my life the other day (I do this most days, now) and couldn't really name one tangible, life-altering "success" that I have achieved since I bought my house over two years ago. I suppose I was promoted last fall, but in retrospect, I'm not sure I care to add that to this list.

Why, then, am I still happy - with no job and no job offers in an unkind job market? Sure, I go through times of despair and hopelessness, crippling self-doubt and complete lack of motivation, but for the most part, my world is still rosy.

I have some theories.

One is that I don't have to do things I don't care about anymore. That's a biggie.

Another is that, through applying and interviewing for jobs, as well as making professional connections for the sake of my would-be business, I have begun to build a type of professional confidence that previous workplaces have more or less stopped me from developing. I've started to think "I can do this," and actually believe it, even if it's something I've never even thought about doing before.

These two things have been really great for me, and have made this unique time one of growth and learning.

However, there is one other thing, to which I can't help but accredit most of my joy: my community.

Because I was never 100% enthusiastic about my job over the past few years, I found purpose and fulfillment in something else: building a home (meaning the people, not the building, though I am fond of my building) and community. I see now that I made the right choice. I don't believe my home or my community will be laying me off anytime soon. :)

In all seriousness, though, I completely believe that, even if I had my dream job (and knew what that was), but had no real home or community to speak of, my life would not have nearly as much as joy in it as it does now. I have people I can rely on and who need me. I am affirmed often. I busy myself by recognizing what it is that I have to offer, and trying my best to have open hands.

I watched It's A Wonderful Life recently and cried a lot. I had never identified with it so much. In the end, when George Bailey, in the face of financial ruin on top of a heap of abandoned dreams, finds redemption and salvation in the community he has taken in place of the life he wanted, I nearly lost it.

This post was written as part of a synchroblogging game that The Creative Collective likes to play. Click here to read what the other players have to say about "Community."

No comments:

Post a Comment